Danielle


 * [[image:Danielle.jpg width="180" height="220"]]Danielle (Chapter 1) **

My friends were so cool to my brother yesterday at his party. I know it’s tough on my parents. I know Daddy would love to have a son he can take to football games and play ball with in the back yard. I try to do those things with Daddy, and he’s grateful, but I know he wishes David could do those things with Daddy. He’s been awesome with David, sticking around and helping out the way he has. I can tell he puts on a brave face for everyone, but I know deep down, he is hurting over David’s condition. I think my parents blame themselves—they feel guilty that I am “normal” when David isn’t. I sometimes question why this happened to my brother. What did my family do wrong? Why did this happen to my family? My parents are loving people. Why do other couples—who shouldn’t even have children have perfectly healthy kids while my parents—who love children get stuck with a handicapped kid? My parents deserve to have a normal life with normal kids. And don’t I deserve a normal life too? Sometimes I think it’s not fair that my brother is handicapped. I feel bad for him. I feel bad for myself too. Sometimes I feel guilty that I want my brother to be like me—an average, healthy teenage kid; not just for him, but for all of us. I wonder what life would be like if our family was a “normal” average family; if my parents didn’t have a handicapped kid. I know that my true friends accept my life and the way my brother is, but sometimes I think that some of my friends don’t want to hang out with me at my house because they are afraid of my brother. I think they’re afraid they will say something wrong that will upset my parents or me. I love my brother, but sometimes life just isn’t fair.

I know that God must have some kind of plan for him and for our family—I have been hearing it in church a lot lately. Knowing what that plan is, is beyond me. I’ve tried to ask God what my purpose is; what I am suppose to do, but so far, I’ve not gotten an answer. I guess I’m not supposed to know right now. I guess I have to keep living each day as it comes.media type="file" key="07 One Day at a Time.wma" width="300" height="45"

David doesn’t know what it is like to have a “normal” life; to be able to hang out with friends, to go shopping, to a school dance or game, or to even participate in sports. David cannot do anything for himself; Mom even has to help him eat. Sometimes it’s embarrassing when we go out to eat. We don’t eat out much unless we go to a place like Bob Evans—where we can sit down to eat. We don’t get takeout because David can’t eat in the car—he makes a huge mess when he tries to feed himself and trying to feed him in the car is difficult.

I know that we have to work around David’s need and there are places we can’t go because of David, which is hard sometimes, but I am glad that one place we will always be able to go is to our church. I think that sometimes the best part of my life is being part of a ‘church family’. They accept our entire family as we are. They treat David as part of them—almost as if he weren’t really much different than anyone else there. It’s a place all of us can belong.

Go to David Chapter 2

 I sort of had a fight with Mom. I wanted to go out with my friends but my mom told me I had to stay home and watch my brother because my mom and dad had to go to work. It’s not fair! Sometimes I hate it that I have to be the ‘responsible big sister’ even though my brother is older than me. I try not to let my parents know how angry I feel that have to give up so much because I know they count on me to help them, but this time I couldn’t help it. It just sort of came out. It is just so hard when I don’t get to have a “normal” life; I’m not the one who is handicapped. Why can’t //I// have a “normal” life? Sometimes I think mom and dad rely so much on me to help them with David that I miss out on a lot of things I want to do. My parents try to arrange their schedules so that I get time for some things, but sometimes they can’t—like when my mom has to go to her classes—and I feel like I miss out because of it. What will they do when I graduate from high school and want to go to college? I can’t put off college like I put off other stuff. Mom says how important an education is so how does she expect me to get one if I have to help out with David? It’s a problem. Maybe they think Mom will be done with her degree program by the time I start college in about two years. She says that when she gets done, she will be able to spend so much more time taking care of David and I will have a lot more free time to do other things I want to do. I really hope so. Taking care of David can be overwhelming at times.
 * Danielle (Chapter 2) **



Go to David Chapter 4

 Tonight was an awesome service at church. I prayed for David. I also prayed about what God wants me to do with my time. Pastor says that we don’t have a lot of time; he preaches that God is about to take His people to Heaven soon.
 * Danielle (Chapter 3) **

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The most awesome part of tonight’s service was when my friends in youth group, the sponsors, and Pastor Bobby prayed for David. I feel in my heart that God heard our prayers and is about to change our lives in an awesome way, though I don’t yet know how. Maybe God is going to heal David soon and he will no longer be handicapped. Maybe God won’t heal David now and that the purpose for David’s life and ours is to help other families overcome the same difficulties we’ve had to face. Who knows? One thing I do know is that when David gets to Heaven, God will make him whole if He isn’t already when he gets there. I know this because Pastor Duke said that in Heaven, everyone will have a glorified body—we will have perfect bodies because there will be no sickness and no tears in Heaven. I have decided that I am going to do the best I can. I am by no means a perfect daughter or sister. I know that I will have good days and bad days. But why should I let the bad days take away the good? Even though my family and I do not have what I would call a “normal” life, we do have some really good moments. The good moments are what make life a lot more bearable. I know I’ve longed to have a normal life, but at what cost? Certainly a “normal” life is not worth not having David at all. Life would not be the same without him. I’d rather have David the way he is than not at all.

Go to David Chapter 6